Can we talk?

On Tuesday, I was sitting at the reference desk getting ready to open the library when my colleague hurried in, announcing that she had stopped to vote on the way into the library. While turning on the monitors she mentioned that she hadn't know how she would vote until actually going into the booth; ultimately she chose to vote for the candidate her children were supporting.

I started laughing, thinking that she must have been joking. How could she be undecided? This is a woman I like personally and respect professionally. She is thoughtful, funny, a committed parent, considerate and generous with her friends and family, and she was a poli sci major in college! How could she have considered voting for that candidate?

While I was worried about having a such a sensitive conversation at work, I had to know what caused her to be conflicted about what seemed to be a clear choice. She was open to explaining her perspective to me, and shared the issues that were important to her, some related to the candidates and others related to the issues. I listened, just listened.

As I went through the day, I kept coming back to how different this exchange had been from others inmy experience. Most of my political conversations were with folks who are in "my camp." Encounters with folks on the other side of the aisle consisted mostly of Facebook flames posted as comments to my posts or unhappy conversations with family members (nothing like getting into an argument on the way into Mass).  I began to think that we have lost the ability and perhaps the opportunity to engage in a respectful way with folks who believe and live differently from us. 

Are we losing the desire to talk to each other, choosing instead to talk at each other, at best, and about each other, at worst? Are others having rewarding, respectful, revealing conversations with folks who think or live differently from you? If so, where? How? If not, why not? 

What do you think? Do we need to make a conscious and concerted effort to talk? Is there a need for it? Do you think it's possible?

I need to pause for perspective -- a perspective that is different from mine -- and listen with open ears and heart and a closed mouth.